When You Feel Like You’re Falling Out of Love with Your Spouse

By Mary Campbell

Probably the most misguided belief in marriage is that once the initial feeling of romantic love subsides, the connection you once had has ended. That isn’t always true. Most of the time, the love is still there, it just feels different. If you’re feeling like you don’t love your spouse anymore, try not to panic! It doesn’t have to mean that your marriage is over.

Recognize Lust Versus Love
Don’t confuse not feeling lust with not feeling love. When you’re young and full of life, lust comes easy. When you’re a little older and slowing down, it doesn’t always come so easy. Just because you’re not as busy in the bedroom as you used to be, doesn’t mean that you don’t love each other anymore. Mature love with your best friend and life partner won’t always be a lusty affair. Real love is commitment.

Adapt to Changing Interests
As the years go by and you have been married for some time, you will both continue to change and grow. Are you feeling lost, like you are not on the same page anymore? If your spouse has a new job or hobby, take an interest in it. If you don’t like to do the same things that you used to do together, find new things to do together. Keep adapting to each other as things change to help you grow closer, rather than drifting apart.

Never Skip the Little Things
The little things really do mean a lot when it comes to keeping the spark of love in your marriage. If you used to dance in the kitchen, call just to say hello, send flowers, or go on impromptu date nights, don’t stop doing those little things — they are really the big things. Loving actions can keep those loving feelings flowing.

If You Don’t Know What Needs Fixing
Sometimes, the reasons that your love has faded can’t be pinned down to any of the simple reasons above. In that case, there might be a more deeply rooted problem in your relationship. Seek the help of a professional marriage counselor. Don’t just give up on your spouse. Many marriages can be saved if you can get those lines of communication open, and work on the issues together.

A marriage is an ever-changing, ever-evolving relationship. Don’t assume that love will always feel the same. If you think that you’re not still in love, think again. Try to rekindle that flame before you decide it’s not burning anymore.