8 Signs You Shouldn’t Tie the Knot
By Mary Campbell
Getting married isn’t a decision you want to take lightly. Many factors go into deciding if you should tie the knot. Here are eight signs you shouldn’t consider marrying the person you’re dating.
1. Don’t get married if you don’t want to be married
That might seem obvious, but if you aren’t ready to be married or have always known you don’t want to be married, don’t do it. If you’re not dating with the intention of ever getting married, the people you date should know this and accept it. If someone pressures you to change your mind, this may result in you getting married when you don’t want to.
2. Don’t get married if you want to stop dating
Getting married isn’t an excuse to stop dating your spouse. It’s as essential to date after you’re married as it is before. If you’ve already finished the dating phase of your relationship, it’s unreasonable to expect things to get better after marriage. Dating helps to keep a relationship exciting. It’s a chance to spend time alone together and try new things.
3. Don’t get married if you think it will end your loneliness
Getting married will not end your loneliness. If you’re already lonely in your life or your relationship, marriage is not a cure for that. It’s vital that you learn to be comfortable being alone and not feeling lonely when you are your only company. You cannot rely on your spouse to keep you constant company if you don’t have friends, family, or hobbies of your own.
4. Don’t get married if you have secrets
Going into a marriage with secrets is a recipe for disaster. It’s safe to assume that eventually, your secrets will come out. It might be five, fifteen, or thirty years down the line, but it will happen. It’s not fair to marry someone if you have secrets that affect them and may be a determining factor in getting married to you.
5. Don’t get married if you can’t compromise
Marriage is not about giving up who you are, but being willing to compromise is crucial. You might be passionate about video games or movies, but you cannot spend all your free time with these things. It’s unreasonable to expect your partner to accept that you play video games non-stop for six or eight hours. If you feel that you can’t limit the amount of time you spend on specific activities, getting married isn’t fair to your spouse.
6. Don’t get married if you hope your partner will change
If you have the idea in your head that getting married will cause your spouse to become domestic suddenly, stop hanging out with friends, or want lots of babies, then you should think again. Marriage doesn’t change a person. If the person you are marrying says they don’t want children, believe them. If they are messy and don’t do dishes, this will stay likely stay the same.
7. Don’t get married if you feel like you have to keep up with friends
If your friends all seem to be getting married and having kids, you might feel the pressure to do so as well. You should only get married when you’ve met someone you love and with whom you see a future. Getting married because you don’t want to be the last single person in your group is the worst reason to do so. It means you will probably end up marrying someone who isn’t right for you. If you want a successful marriage, don’t rush into it just because everyone else is getting married.
8. Don’t get married if you can’t discuss anything with the person you’re dating
It’s easy to have fun, laugh, and discuss happy topics, but can you talk about the more difficult things with them? You can’t avoid the hard subjects forever. When you’re going through a difficult time, you should be able to talk to your partner and lean on and feel comfortable crying in front of them. If you need to hide these moments, they might not be the person you want to marry. Before you decide to get married, make sure you understand what goes into a marriage.
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